my little brother wrote about me for school and this was one of the sentences he wrote. im sobbing “my sister is my role model because she can watch 12 years worth of law and order in 3 months”
(via wraththefuck)
there is a town called sandwich in massachusetts
there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
(Source: timoodlesarchive, via sloth-bear)
so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat
Yes those are dolphins and shells.
But wait until you open the fucking thing
Oh yes
my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT
I am so fucking done
(via laughingatnothing89)